By Theo Bien, Contributing Writer
Aries: Eating more Dining Center tendies will lead to success in other avenues of your life. This effect will be reversed if you dip them in anything other than ketchup.
Taurus: The Blue Bus’s energy aligns with yours over the next month. Relationships pursued with fellow bus-takers will blossom.
Gemini: Things are looking up for you as an online influencer. TikToks that you make in the next two weeks will be extremely successful.
Cancer: Question 4 of your upcoming problem set will be difficult.
Leo: The DC soups hold many things. You will find inspiration and clarity though thought and deliberation over a good bowl of soup.
Virgo: If something is broken in your dorm, place a Facilities request. The spiritual connection between you and Facilities management is especially strong this month.
Libra: You are both the most attractive and smartest person in the Bi-Co.
Scorpio: The next couple of weeks will be challenging academically. It would be beneficial to actually do your readings.
Sagittarius: Technology is on your side and eduroam will not fail you.
Capricorn: Philadelphia beckons you. Taking a trip off-campus will be both spiritually and emotionally enlightening.
Aquarius: In your upcoming reading assignment, the first and last sentence of each paragraph will contain all relevant information. (Editor’s note: The Bi-College News is not liable for any bad grades that may result from this week’s horoscope.)
Pisces: As the seasons change, the spirits channel their energy through you. Look into yourself to discover your true vibe and live your truth accordingly.
Image credit: Wikimedia Commons
