By Theli Bielnick, Contributing Writer
Aries: Trust your intuition; you don’t need to get any work done over the weekend. (Editor’s Note: Once again, the Bi-Co News would like to reiterate that we are not liable for any poor grades that may result from following the advice of this week’s horoscope.)
Taurus: You will always find an open laundry machine whenever you look for it.
Gemini: Wearing fall colors will make you seem more welcoming and will beckon fall weather to come early. Transform into nature’s true avatar by covering your sweater vest in glue and rolling around in leaves and acorns.
Cancer: You will find peace in Gest 101.
Leo: c̴͙̰̳̄̈̓ͅǒ̶̺͎̻̠̂͒n̷̤̕s̶͕̑ũ̷͎̦̖̒̈̈́ͅm̴̺̫̞͕̊̐ḝ̴͈̗͍̎̑̈́ ̸̤̿c̴͓̲̓̈͋h̶͍͍̹̒̈́̐ḙ̶̫̗̄̒̓̐ĕ̸̖͊s̶̱̗̭̰͒͛̌e̷̛̛̱̊̾
Virgo: Naming your firstborn child Tim, short for Optimus Prime, will secure a grand future for posterity.
Libra: Be wary of people with strikingly beautiful eyes. They will steal your soul if you look too long.
Scorpio: Avoid the Gum parties, you deserve better. Happy times are coming when Venus enters the solstice discosphere.
Sagittarius: Braving the science library for an afternoon will allow you to finish work at triple your normal pace. Do not be greedy, however, as entering the Sci-Li again for a week will lead to a tripling of your workload.
Capricorn: There is a possibility that you will have some sort of calling that may be positive or negative in outcome, depending on the actions you take to either accept or reject it.
Aquarius: A day of reckoning approaches. The skateboards will lead to great change in your life, but whether it is good or bad remains to be seen. Only misfortune will come from refusing to wear a helmet.
Pisces: Aries are looking real cute this time of year 😉
Image credit: Getty Images
