Peanut, scheduled to appear at last Wednesday’s Wawa with Wendy, was suspiciously absent from the cult classic event on Haverford’s campus. One student told the Bico News they felt “distressed,” “confused,” and “hopeless” at the absence, citing Peanut as the main reason they attend, other than to “eat about 3 to 4 donuts without speaking to Wendy.” Strangely enough, the next day, an anonymous source overheard Bryn Mawr President Wendy Cadge in the Campus Center mentioning that she had found her pugs’ bedroom window open late Wednesday night. The three dogs were absent until the next morning, when they silently appeared for their walk.
Sensing something was afoot, the BiCo News tapped its network for leads. Ultimately hearing nothing, and alarmed by the student body’s indifference, they decided to take matters into their own hands. The next time the presidential pets’ absences coincided, the search commenced. Two of our most experienced undercover reporters were sent into the field to dig up the truth.
In a stroke of luck, the reporters, having given up their search in favor of a “nice, long walk to Ardmore,” happened upon an unexpected rendezvous in the parking lot of the Wilkie Lexus dealership, which happens to be the exact midpoint between Bryn Mawr and Haverford colleges. Initially worried by the frenzied barking and tangle of canine body parts, they inched closer. As they neared the ‘dogpile,’ one of the students recognized Peanut, the active-on-social-media dog of Haverford President Wendy Raymond. As the reporters scanned the faces of the other three culprits, all pugs, now scrambling to hide, the situation became clear. Peanut, along with Bryn Mawr’s 3 presidential pugs, Thelma, Augie, and Louie, had been caught red-pawed, engaging in the time-honored BiCo tradition of ethical non-monogamy.
The plot thickened the following Friday night, when Peanut was spotted at the Grog nursing a ginger ale—a far cry from her standard order, bourbon neat. When a chewed-up copy of What to Expect when You’re Expecting was found on President Wendy Raymond’s lawn, our suspicions were confirmed. All this is to say, get excited: there’s a new mainline mom in town.
Though it remains unclear which of the pugs is responsible, all BiCo students, faculty, and staff are welcome to direct their congratulations to Peanut’s Instagram, @peanutprezpup, or in person at the next Wawa with Wendy. A baby registry will be posted soon.
